Episode Highlights

Some of the topics discussed include:

• Mental health and relationship dynamics (intent vs impact, emotional responsibility)

• ADHD and partnership friction (follow-through, attention, “systems stop working”)

• OCD vs OCPD and how each affects relationships differently

• Couples therapy misconceptions and when it helps most

• Screen time, social media, and the “third person in the room”

• Medication: benefits, side effects, and collaborative decision-making

Key Takeaways for Couples

• Supporting a partner doesn’t mean managing their emotions for them

• Patterns matter more than blame

• Structure can reduce conflict (routines, boundaries, expectations)

• Therapy can be preventative, not just a last resort

• OCD vs OCPD: what’s actually different (and why it matters)

• Self-diagnosis and internet trends around mental health labels

Quick Answers

When does stress or anxiety become a mental health concern?

When it starts interfering with daily functioning—sleep, work, relationships, or your ability to be present—it’s worth reaching out for support.

How can ADHD impact relationships?

ADHD often shows up as forgetfulness, procrastination, losing items, difficulty following multi-step tasks, and, for partners of those with ADHD, feeling “not listened to.” Over time, these patterns can create resentment unless they’re recognized and addressed.

What’s the difference between OCD and OCPD?

OCD is driven by obsessions and compulsions meant to reduce anxiety. OCPD is more about rigidity  that can strain relationships and make it hard to compromise.

Can couples therapy help even if a relationship isn’t “in crisis”?

Yes. Many couples use therapy to improve communication, rebuild connection, and understand patterns before things reach a breaking point.

How do you know if therapy is a good fit?

A good fit usually feels non-judgmental, clarifying, and collaborative. If it doesn’t feel helpful after a few sessions, it’s reasonable to bring that up or consider another approach.

Learn More

To learn more about Dr. Eric Bender’s approach, visit the Therapy page for a helpful overview of how he works with patients. You can also review the Areas Served page to see where he provides care in San Francisco, and where virtual therapy is available.